She’s only five. Just. She has short blond hair, and dancing eyes that look right through me, especially when we are drawing pictures together; especially when she plays with the knights and ladies and horses… but most of all when she is standing next to my desk, asking for yet another heart-shaped lollipop.
Yesterday, she came in with her mother.
Yesterday. It was snowing in our city — in the month of March– much too late for icy weather in the south. Drive slowly on black ice, folks. You don’t see it coming. Yesterday. The child couldn’t stay inside during our session. So, she and her mother created a ten inch snowman ornament for the hood of my little car. Wish I had taken a picture — he was formidable. He endured the drive home, and was still frozen to my car’s hood, pointing forward, this morning at 6am. She makes me giggle.
It wasn’t long ago this little one first came in to see me. We had to get to know each other, you see. She was having trouble letting go in the morning. No one knew why. She wouldn’t talk — In my own humble opinion, the child holds too gracious of a spirit to burden the adults around her.
So we played together — drawing pictures, punching play-doh, jousting knights and ladies, with puppets, …and with the dollhouse. When the focus of her fear finally surfaced, she crawled into a fetal position; she substituted grunts for words; she quietly pulled away and wept; she tried to climb into the five-inch opening between my desk and wall cabinet. It was her attempt to find a safe place to hide; a cave; a womb. It was time for a rescue.
Did you know that a child will show their trust by speaking to you? Such a feat requires time and safety….
Her abuser denies any wrongdoing.
We are slowly working through her perceptions about herself, and about men in general. Much too soon she will be confronted with the much larger outside world. Can we help her steady her feet before it appears? Dear Jesus, I pray so.
How does this happen to a five year old? I have seen many such children over the years, and yet it still confounds me —
The pervasiveness of evil in the world around us? On a small level, perhaps — but in reality that entity is nothing, but a loud bully on the playground. What confounds my heart and mind is this — The infiniteness of the love of Father God; deeper than any evil, any fear, any abandonment, any pain; wider than any blockage, any accusation, any broken place. He reaches into our humanity, and restores identity; greater than any loss, any abuse, any difficulty — and it is eternal. Eternally mine, because I belong to Him.
Do you belong to Him? Then, it is yours as well. And He will move heaven and earth to redeem, to rebuild, to restore, to repair and to re-create what the false gods and philosophies of this world have stolen from you.
He is God. No substitutions, no additives. Just God.
It’s been several months now, since my dollhouse tow-head came to visit for the first time. Her mother can’t pay, so my cheeks receive my fee in sticky kisses (lollipop derived); as her mother is trying to rebuild her life. We came up with a business name and made flyers and business cards last week — we can’t wait to see what Jesus will do for her.
I have long said — “People who need help and counsel can’t afford it; when people have money for help and counsel they don’t want it. They become distracted with all the things they think will heal their pain.”
My husband suggested that I invite those who are taking this newest adventure of blogging with me, into my own journey. He said you should know what it is I do these days…..
Many of my clients are just like these two precious souls — like butterflies emerging from a long and hard winter; getting ready to unfold their wings and become.
Pray for us. Pray for me. And, if it occurs to you, and you would like to support our ministry at Awakened to Grow, you can do so through my website; awakenedtogrow.com. And I promise, any gift you give will be used to provide care for those who cannot afford to pay for themselves.
(C) 2010 DG — awakenedtogrow.com